I have a confession, I have often used you, my readers…and this blog
as a catharsis… But I think of you each as friends. Each.
Let me use you one more time please to tell my story.
So I can breathe. So I can stop crying.
This week I drove with my youngest for a University interview and tour
We were driving in her small Mazda…. She dutifully stopped at a stop sign.
She looked both ways,
Then proceeded to drive straight into the path of an oncoming SUV… going 60 mph.
I saw it. Time stopped. I yelled NOOO. Put my hand out…
in the way mothers do.
Heard it. Couldn’t stop it.
Then black.
I awoke to the acrid smell of smoke…looked over to see my baby. My beautiful girl lying slumped…eyes opened. Broken.
Mama hormones and Mama love are the most fierce …most impassioned kind of strength.
I witness this, often, at a birth.
I know this. YOU know this. You Mothers. You sons and daughters.
The car was on fire (or so I thought)… I wailed for my baby to live. held her, shook her,pulled her seatbelt off and mine .
she finally looked at me. My beautiful curly haired morning star
who was only going to be 17 next week.
and whispered faintly
I am ok
With a speed and strength of what I can only imagine as pure adrenaline , I pulled myself out of the turquoise burning coffin, and over to her door. There was no handle…it was not opening. There wasn’t really a door.
I couldn’t see out of one eye….thought maybe I had lost half of my face… I lost a shoe…I saw blood.
I demanded in that way that mothers do my curly haired child to follow me.
she pushed I pulled her over the console.
We chanted the mantra we are ok…we are ok the whole time.
Thank goodness she didn’t have a spine injury. I know not to move accident victims. I know this .
But the ferocity in me demanded it.
Ferocious, that mother love, that has us dispel rules in the name of survival.
Ambulances, and trauma centers, cat scans a few days in a hospital bed... and a few staples in our heads later.
we are ok
we are ok
we are ok.
79 comments:
My God! This was chilling and most terrifying .. I am relieved you are both OK, no serious injuries. Your description was so vivid, I almost felt as though I had witnessed your accident. Yes, a mother's instincts and love are not to be trifled with.
It was a mother and a daughter in the SUV. She never saw us. Never braked. I understand, because of the size of their car, that they were not injured badly. Thank Heavens.
It also was not lost on me that it occured on my fathers birthday...who has long since been an angel on my shoulder.
Linda, you and your daughter were very lucky to survive this, because in the brink of a eye so much can happen without warning.
What a terrible experience. Thank heavens you have both come through this. I think it makes each of us want to hug our loved ones and be thankful.
Oh Linda, that hurt my heart to read it and I know to live it had to be a nightmare. I'm so grateful you are both doing better. How terrifying...ugh! Life is placed before us in a blink of an eye.
Hugs~
When I was in high school I used to catch a ride with a friend of mine who drove a Volvo. One morning on our way to school we were side swiped by a city bus. All five girls walked away with a few bumps and bruises. It wasn't until I had my daughter that I thought of it from my mom's perspective. Poor woman! The call from the police must have made her heart stop for a second! I'll never forget my mom hugging me, taking me home and lovingly picking glass out of my hair for the next couple days.
All this makes me think of that old song 'Carry me Across the Mountain'.
I'm so glad that you and your sweet girl are alright. I'm sending you girls lots of peace and love from across the Atlantic!
Oh Linda I send this with a huge hug - this was chilling, yet so beautifully written - from the heart of a mother about her precious child. Have a safe and happy week and hug your daughter from me too. Francesca
Wow. Are you really okay? You may not discover some effects for a long time. Sounds like you were lucky to walk away. This is undoubtedly a life changing event. Be well.
Wow.
That's the most intense post I think I'v ever read.
(The power of a Mother's love.)
I am so thankful you are both OK,
and will pray for you both.
Count your blessings.
Wow.
So glad that you are all okay...
Oh my God Linda.
I hope you are both better now.
Speedy recovery ok.
Hugs.
I am breathless. And thankful.
Let me know if you need anything.
xo xo
omg Linda... I cry as I write. I am so, so very sorry. Thank God (and your dear father) that you and your beautiful daughter are okay. Godspeed to you both and many, many grateful hugs that you are okay.... you are okay... you are okay...
xoxojoan
Oh Linda, I am so sorry for this terrible event happening to you and your daughter...I trust you are both getting all the care you need to see you through this. I'm glad you got through it...my thoughts are with you. Janell
Oh this is terrible. I am so glad that you are both okay. You will have nightmares about this for some time. Yes, you had an angel on your side. It had to be horrible to see your daughter in that condition.So sorry. ((((((HUGS))))
Oh My God!!!!!Linda. My heart goes out to you. Thank God you both are okay.
I absolutely love the way you write. I've learned so much about writing from reading this blog. I was right there in the car with you and couldn't read fast enough. I seriously think you should be writing short stories, a book, or poetry.
Again, so glad you both are okay.
Wow. I can't imagine how horrible this experience was for you. So thankful that everyone is okay.
Shaken, but okay.
This makes me want to go hug MY daughter again. I hugged her yesterday after she mowed my yard. I think I need to go hug her again today!
I am sobbing as I read this and had to reread to make sure I read it correctly. Thank God you are both okay!! Life can sure throw some things at us all!
Be strong and please know that I am constantly thinking of you and your daughter. I have a daughter too. She is all grown up but I worry about her all the time. One never knows what is in store for any of us.
Take care! I will keep you in my prayers and sending love from Texas.
There is NOTHING stronger than a Mama's love!!!!
anon Susan
OMG Linda, Thank God that you are both OK, how terrifying. That adrenaline sure kicks in when faced with a trauma.
Hoping all the aches and pains go away quickly.
Blessings,
Kathleen
Linda, this is terrible! And I have been bothered by a simple fall while gardening, that broke two ribs - perspective please! and Thank you.
Take a long long long time before either of you return to lifting or exercise - I've heard that to protect us our bodies can loosen joints and connective tissue (is it hormones?) at impact. But it takes time to get everything back in place and back to normal.
I agree with you - your Dad was there to help you protect your sweet girl. Take great care!
Thanking God for His grace over you and your daughter! Just heart-wrenching! -Caroline
So glad to read that all is OK-or as OK as can be given the circumstances. Make sure you two take some time to just be quiet and meditate on this profound happening. On your Dad's b-ay? Wow. Just...wow. Namaste.
OH bless your heart and hers...I am so glad you are both ok. God is good.
Andrea
I've been praying and sending healing vibes to you both. So very glad you are okay, but please take it easy. If you need an ear let me know - it does help to relieve the anxiety a bit to let it all out. Much love and hugs
I'm sure you know what I was thinking. So thankful you are both alive..
Good Lord Linda....as I was reading I got chills and was so afraid to read each sentence thinking that the outcome was not going to be what it was.......I can not even imagine what you are feeling and what your nightmares will be like. Thankfully it was not you, or your daughters time.....
OMGoodness Linda....I can feel the fierce Mama love and will to get your baby out of that car. I am glad you both are healing, I am sure you'll be sore for a bit. Love on each other...God is good to put His loving arms around the both of you. I wish I were closer, I would bring you 'stuff'!
xoxo
linda!!!!
my heart is in full panic.
i am so grateful that you are both alright.
i feel like you are my friend -
and also because you are not too far from me.
....i am praying and send my love and any comfort that may bring you both.
again....
i am so relieved that things weren't worse.
honestly...
thank g-d
So happy you are both OK, though the shock and horror, especially of what MIGHT have been, will linger for a long time. My 5'1" daughter managed to pull my 5'9" mother, 75 at the time, through a shattered windscreen opening, when she smelled the petrol pouring from their overturned car- love for a nanna will do the same. My dad had died 2 weeks before - maybe he was their guardian angel. They too escaped serious injury.
What a terrible thing to happen, and I am so glad you are both ok. You definitely had an angel watching over your shoulder.
Linda are you sure you girls are ok? That was a powerful hit you both took. I have a lump in my throat. I was terrified to read the next sentence. Yes I believe someone powerful and his special angel was watching over you. Big hugs.... To you both. xo
Linda, I'm on the other side of the country and we've never met, but I cried for you just now.
Thinking good thoughts for the healing of you both. <3
Oh Linda, I am so sorry about this accident, yet so grateful that you are both "okay". These types of life events make one want to go back to a time when to keep our children safe was as easy as holding their hand. Oh your poor husband, when he got the call; both of his girls! Sending you all of my love on the wings of a desert sparrow, Deb ♥♥♥
I can't imagine going through something as scary as this with my little one. I'm glad both of you are okay.
Linda,
I have chills!! You never can predict these things and it's amazing how quickly life can take a turn. Thank GOD you are alive and able to share this with us. You and your daughter are in my prayers and wishing you a speedy recovery.
Rest and recover.
Take care,
Leslie
Thank goodness you are both all right.. how our lives can alter in a heartbeat and how I understand a mother's protective love.. xv
I am so glad you are both OK!!!
Oh my gosh. I am so very, very thankful you are both ok. I am sorry you had this traumatic experience. I pray you will recover quickly. Sending lots of good wishes.
Linda,
My daughter and I just read your post. An absolute miracle is all I can think of to say right now. Taylor is stunned as I know what she is thinking.
Linda I am so so sorry that this happened but thank God you were with her and thank God for being the mother that you are. It will take some time to heal in many ways but living through such an accident means that you both have much work ahead. Your sweet girl must have the strength of her other.
My Taylor walked away from a head-on collision almost a month ago. It's never the same. xoxoxo
You know....I posted this, and then couldn't quite go back to read it. Thought I may never.
But brought myself to read the words...and then read your most beautiful,uplifting thoughts and prayers...from many corners of this actually tiny earth.
Like a tonic, each one I would read lifted me...strengthened me...reminded me, maybe more than you will ever know.
From the bottom, of our most happily beating hearts....we thank you.
<3
oh my word! this brought chills all over my body. i couldn't wait to read to the bottom. PRAISE GOD you are both alive. i'm rejoicing with you momma. i can only imagine the horror of that experience.
Even with all your knowledge through your profession, it is still the momma instincts that come out. So thankful you and your sweet daughter are "ok". I think you are better than OK... you are both truly blessed and I'm sure so very thankful beyond words.
Rest and enjoy this summer!
Linda- I'm reading this aloud to my mother and we are in a puddle of tears! I know they should be tears of joy that you both "are ok"!! But who can read your words without being suspended into that reality. So many of my tears were cried out of pain and gratitude. Pain for you, for Olivia and for the haunting image that made me feel as if it had happened not only to you but also to me & my daughter. That's how a mother's love works. Our maternal instincts resonate not only for those who came through us but for ALL children. Knowing that all loving mothers want nothing more in life than to keep their babies safe, healthy and happy!! I'm so relieved you made it back to that place! Love, Julia carter
I had tears in my eyes reading this.Thank goodness you are both okay!!! I know what this is like as a few years ago when my two youngest were still in car-seats an idiot drove headfirst into us. We were also all okay but my kids were traumatized. Thank god for their car-seats as they would have been flung through the windshield without them. They had indents and marks across their chests for a very long time but they saved their lives.
oh my heavens.....this could have gone so terribly differently and may i say worse. i am so glad you are o.k. i am sending prayers and healing vibes your way, my dear.
erin
may God continue to heal you.... in every way... so glad you are ok... xoxo
blogger did not let me post...I will try again
Linda,
I am so very happy that you and your beautiful daughter are OK. Please know that we are ALL here for you, sending healing thoughts and prayers.
In just a moment...these things happen.
x..x
I'm so glad you and your daughter are alright!!! I had chills, scrolling down and reading the rest of your post, but THANK GOD you are both okay. Sending much love and many prayers your way xx
That took my breath away! I am so grateful that you are both Okay. Sending hugs from far away...and hopes that you can heal in your head, heart and body very soon.
Linda, I can feel how terrified you must of been and as a Mother I am so glad that both you and your daughter are okay.
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
Oh my God ... I am so grateful you are both OK. So scary and traumatizing. I know what it's like to see what is going to happen but be out of control. You did have your angels around you. You still do.
Be patient and extra gentle with yourselves. Be around what gives you comfort and peace. Take time to rest and to b r e a t h e .
Sending you much light and love.
Lucinda
linda,
peace and healing to you and your
beautiful daughter.
both my 16 & 17 year old daughters were in a car upside down in a ditch. the oldest who was driving got out..the younger was suspended upside down by seat belt. i was 15 miles away. 911 couldnt find their location. i know what mama adreneline is...I GOT THEIR FIRST !! i know the healing takes a while. your both in my heart!
LINDA!!!! I am in shock just reading your experience, and my heart aches just knowing you have gone through something so traumatic, such close range. Thank you for sharing. Suddenly everything seems infinitely less stressful to me today in my own little corner of the world. I'm praying for you! Blessings and peace and healing in abundance sweet friend!
How incredibly terrifying, and I'm so thankful your story has the ending it does.
Minor crashes have scarred me, I can't imagine the fallout from this -- once the shock wears off (and it will) do whatever you can to minimize the aftereffects.
Wishing your daughter speedy healing, you some recovery, and your family some peace.
Linda,
Just checking back to see how you girls are doing. Hope the bangs and bruises are healing as well as the stapled parts.
xo
Linda! This is horrifying! And wonderful! All at once. You survived!!! Nothing short of a miracle. I'm so sorry that you have to go through yet another heavy-duty happening in your family. Takes one's breath away!
Take care and lotsza hugs,
Becky
This is both chilling and horrifying! Fortunately, both you and your daughter survived.
Wishing you and your daughter a speedy recovery.
Jessie
Oh I am so sorry, I felt all of your emotions and I so glad to get to the end of the story and know that you are both ok. I hope you will soon be more than ok! Love is more powerfull than anything.
oh no!
shocked!
it has been one week...
life is so fragile
and
we
sometimes
forget that...
{{ looking for an update;
sending prayers
straight down the state
as
they R
useful
no matter what }}
Very interesting... I really like it... Thank you so much...
What shocking news...so glad to hear that you are both okay.
I have been reading your blog for a long time and enjoying it immensely, so I wasn't prepared for such sad news when I logged on today....my prayers are with you both...Lots of love from Virginia in Barbados.
Thank you thank you thank you for all of your strength concern and just plain ole love. My computer broke...so cannot post...hoping to get it back soon. We are on the mend.
And ALL of you have been a part of that. Again...from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you.
Good day
::Lime in the coconut::
I have been previously looking for something such as this for a time now. Finally something to be grateful for, thanks!
omg, that gave me chills and tears in my eyes. How awful and scary. Just because you're ok doesn't mean it wasn't horrible.
thank god it didn't end differently.
xo
I cried to the end of this post. I couldn`t read it fast enough to see that you two were ok, even had to re-read the last sentence because I was so thrown by this post. My arms were covered in goosebumps reading this, my throat has a lump in it and my head pounds a little now, I was so terrified that you had lost your daughter. I am relieved for you and happy that you both are ok. What a scary scary experience you had. I am glad to read in your comments that the people in the other car made it out ok too. What a relief. Don`t know you but I`m sending you out big hugs right now. Glad you are ok.
:)
mikky
www.todaloos.com
God is good.
holy shit!
this story was crazy scary. i am glad you are both ok.
but weirdly..as i was reading this, specifically the last paragraph..i heard a loud thud. very loud. it sounded like a tree fell. i walked to the back door and my across the street neighbor was outside and heard it too.
we couldn't figure out what it was bc it was dark but we both agreed it sounded like a tree fell.
i looked to the left and saw that a tree, half of which fell on our house 4 years ago, the other half in our front yard. it missed our house by centimeters.
i have no idea why!! the first time around it was due to a wind shear. right now it's a still, beautiful night.
that is beyond scary. but also a blessing it happened now rather than when fiona was in the yard playing hours earlier.
sorry to add my own drama to your horrific experience but i had to share..
I have not visited your blog for a while but this morning I had the urge to so do. Now I know why ... my heart yearns to pray for you. I read this post and I was speechless, my body almost shaking. How are you and your daughter doing today? .... praying ...
Linda:
I'm just now reading this! I also have never met you but I cried and cried when I read this post. Christmas eve two years ago this EXACT thing happened to me. I was in a tiny two door car coming home from college and a huge SUV facing the wrong way on the interstate and I hit head on. I know exactly what you and your daughter are going through. Even the months that follow can be horrendous...dealing with insurance, healing, and searching for a new car are ways of pouring salt in an open wound...daily. I hope you guys are healing emotionally as well as physically. You two are definitely on my mind!
So so glad you are both ok, I've been away and I broke out in a cold sweat when I read your post.....so glad you are both ok.
Sar x
Linda, I 'm so sorry to hear of this. I don't know you, not a regular reading of your blog, but I do 'see' you here and there in blogland. My heart goes out to you and your daughter and I pray for more healing. I'm giving more hugs to my kids today. Nan
Oh my God, Linda. The fact that you were able to type this post tells me that you are OK at least on some level. I hope you and your daughter are doing well, healing, recovering. I can't believe that I have been away from your blog for so long that I am just now reading this! Thank goodness no one in the other car was hurt, as I see from your comment. And thank God that your father was with you in some way in that car...
Linda, I'm so sorry that I'm just now reading your post - I hope that this time has allowed you and your daughter some much needed healing time.
I'm so thankful that you and your daughter were able to walk away from what sounds like could have been a very terrible accident.
Yes, indeed, you have angels watching over you.
xoxo,
A
Hi Linda, I haven't visited for a while and decided to say Hi and read your post - OMG, I am sooo sorry to hear about the accident, it just gave me chills, but as you said - You are OK!! Thank God....the power of a mother's love can combat anything!1
This made me tear up! I literally was on the edge of my seat. So glad you're both okay!
Oh my goodness...I'm so glad you both are OK. So scary...I think your father was there, looking out for you, guiding you as to how to handle your situation. So glad you both are somewhat unharmed.
Linda - it's been a while since I've stopped by any blogs - I was so happy to land here today, like a comfy, familiar spot to me. Then I scrolled down and read this post! I'm SO sorry you went through this mama terror. I can't and don't want to imagine how this felt for you. I can't let my brain go there with one of my kiddos. I'm relieved to read that you are both okay, but so, so sorry for this nightmare for you. I've missed you, friend. xoxo
reading that left me on the edge of my seat. I am so-so glad you two are okay.
I'm so so sorry that my thoughts and prayers are coming so late...
As a mother of one (soon to be two) driving children, your story immediately brought tears to my eyes... first of panic then of relief when I reached the end.
Huge hugs to you and your daughter.
Yes, I believe your Father was watching over you... we parents never stop watching.
xo ox
Brooke
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